In with the good, Out with the bad

So, as Ali noted, we've kind of been sucking at this group blog thing.  I, for one, have let my personal blog go by the wayside as well as I've just been swamped with, well, LIFE! However, I love the idea of this blog and am determined to make it succeed! I want to start off my contribution to the blog with a response/offshoot to Ali's first post about weight.  It makes me think of a theme that I've noticed in so many women our age (and those younger), that is disturbing to me.  It seems that so many women just cannot be CONTENT! I do not get it at all.  

Don't get me wrong, when I was in college, I know I struggled mightily with feelings of inadequacy.  It seemed that all around me, there were people just generally better than I - prettier, funnier, more athletic, smarter, holier, more fun, a better friend.  However, those who know me can attest that I'm pretty, funny, athletic, smart, fun and a great friend (we'll just skip the holy one for now...). So what was the issue? Well, looking back, to be honest I think it was just a phase and/or a maturity issue.  After college, I suffered a lot of defeat - in work, in educational endeavors, in relationships - but I also have had more than my fair share of successes.  I needed those failures and successes to strengthen me.  But I also needed time and maturity to learn to stop comparing myself to other people.  If I can honestly say that I live up to my high expectations for myself, why should it matter what other people are doing? It doesn't.  I acknowledge that every day is not going to be the best day of your life.  For example, it's hot as holy hell here, and I often dread getting dressed to go out because I know I am just going to look like a hot, sweaty fool moments after exiting the condo.  But - I try not to let things like this affect my overall demeanor and outlook on life, because I am overwhelmingly blessed by everything I have going in life.  (Those who have known me a long time I think can appreciate the road of changes that have occurred to get me to this point).

However, as I noted at the beginning of the post, I talk to/observe so many women who are not this way.  They complain, malinger, malign, self-defeat, and are generally NOT CONTENT with themselves.  Granted, I live in a mini-LA, so superficiality and competitiveness are higher than many other locations, but I do not feel this is restricted to Dallas.  Why are so many women our age so lacking in contentment? And how do they not realize that their discontent is not only unattractive, but is likely to get them nowhere to their stated goals? 

Like Ali said - she would love to save future generations of women a colossal waste of time being unhappy about their looks.  I think the answer to this question is how we save that time, not only in unhappiness about looks, but just general unhappiness.  If we can help future generations of adult females toward contentment, they will stop wasting their emotions and energy fretting about how they compare to others, and focus that energy on figuring out their goals and working toward achieving those goals.  Pushing yourself to YOUR best (and having people around you who support you in that) is how you find that contentment. And in that vein, cutting negative people out of your life is also a helpful tool to ridding yourself of any encouragement to compare yourself or linger on feelings of discontent.  Happy goal setting ladies - and I hope we can all include group sharing on the blog as part of our goals!

lets give this a go!

ladies, although i love this blog experiment, it is failing. but i'm a scientist, and if i've learned anything from grad school its that when you really really want an experiment to work you keep repeating that experiment until you want to kill yourself. i like this blog. i think it could be useful and fun. also i need a distraction from my other failing experiments so i don't have to want to kill myself. to that end, here is something fun i did tonight:


jello cake balls!


i'm a 5th-ish generation american mutt born and raised in sioux city, iowa. i don't have a "cultural history." i can't make grandma's favorite schnitzel (i had to look up the spelling of that word) or moussaka or insert-ethnic-food-here. My coworkers were recently talking about having a cultural food day, where everyone would bring a favorite family recipe that represented their heritage. i figured i would have to do grilled cheese sandwiches with wonder bread and kraft american singles. but, behold: jello cake. a staple of my childhood. some of my mom's best work. is it more exotic than grilled cheese? no. but it's prettier, and less embarrassing. i went with cake balls instead b/c they're trendier, and i'm nothing if not trendy.


How to make:
1 white box cake (or generic from-scratch white cake)
1 3oz pkg of jello, flavor of your choice


prepare the cake according to the recipe. prepare the jello by heating 1/2 cup water, dumping in the entire contents of the package, and stirring until its dissolved.


when you bake the cake the edges and bottom will likely be golden-brown and slightly crispier than the center. i like to scoop out only the non-crispy parts so that the balls are even and smooth. but this is not necessary. just dump the cake into a bowl. pour about 1/4 cup of the jello into the bowl with the cake and blend. let sit for 5-10 min. if mixture is sticky enough that it can be rolled in to self-sufficient balls you're good. if not, add a little bit more of the jello liquid and repeat. these balls will be very moist* so you want to use as little liquid as possible! once you can make a ball that holds its shape, roll it in powdered sugar and enjoy!


*i repeat, these balls are very moist. and i'm not trying to make an awkward balls joke. they are moist.

Kind of big and kind of beautiful; a middle of the road feminist blog.

Hey guys, I have been thinking a lot (more than usual) about this topic lately and was thinking of doing a blog about it, possibly with another woman/women. I have never done anything like this before so I thought I'd sort of focus-group it here. Please give my your honest feedback!

Kind of big and kind of beautiful; a middle of the road feminist blog.

I am a 28yr old intelligent, accomplished American woman currently working toward my Ph.D. in Neuroscience at a top research university. I’ve been out of middle school for nearly 15 years and am approaching my 10 year high school reunion. Still, some days, my most pressing concern is losing weight. Not really for my health, my BMI is in the normal range. Not to be popular or desired by men, I have wonderful friends and an amazing boyfriend who all love me exactly the way I am. In fact, my boyfriend, friends, and family are often complimentary about my looks. So why do these vain insecurities about my weight and my body linger? Why do I happily acknowledge beauty in other women around me who don’t fit into the “Hollywood ideal” while simultaneously refusing to acknowledge that in myself? Maybe its because I’m shallow. Maybe I’m weak-willed. I’ve struggled with these feelings for more than 20 years (I once discovered a “diet journal” in my girl scout notebook from 3^rd grade), and in many ways I’ve overcome the worst of them. Now that I’m an adult I know that my feelings are shared by many, possibly most, women and I think that sucks. I’m tired of these feelings and, if you’re reading this, I bet you are too. But they’re still here, so we may as well acknowledge them and try to figure out why they’re so damn persistent. And, if we’re really good, maybe we can help the next generation of women avoid this colossal waste of time.

Beer and chocolate

My favorite bar here in Milwaukee is hands down Paddy’s Pub. It is located on the east side of town in what would appear to be a converted home. Upon walking through the side entry you feel like you are whisked into a secret garden for surrounding the pub is an amazing outdoor patio . It is the perfect spot to have a drink during the warm months. The inside of the pub is cozy with thick old wooden tables, stain glass windows, over the top Irish decor and a suit of armor. It is a bar that transcends all walks of life, young and old. One in which you are greeted/served by the owners and made to feel at home immediately. The special nooks and crannies in this place only makes the bar seem vast and enchanting.

That alone would have been enough for me but then they go and do the smartest thing EVER. You see Paddy’s Pub provides you with an Peanut M&M infused trail mix to munch on while you enjoy your beer. Be still my heart. Clearly Paddy is a woman (she is, Patty actually ;0) ). The secret to my patronage? Chocolate and beer!

So last year during one of my holiday kicks I came across this recipe (below) from Taste of Homes and needless to say did not hesitate! Contrary to my nature I bake this recipe exactly as it outlines. This is a VERY dense recipe but hey Guinness is liquid bread right?

Happy St. Patrick’s day all!

Chocolate Guinness Cake Recipe

Cake:
• 1 cup Guinness (dark beer) Note: you can get usually get a single bottle of this from the liquor store for about $2.50. But if you want to buy a six pack and drink it BY ALL MEANS!
• 1/2 cup butter, cubed
• 2 cups sugar
• 3/4 cup baking cocoa
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 2/3 cup sour cream
• 3 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1-1/2 teaspoons baking soda

Frothy Topping:
• 1 package (8 ounces) cream cheese, softened
• 1-1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
• 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream

Directions:
Grease a 9-in. springform pan and line the bottom with parchment paper ( I use wax); set aside.

In a small saucepan, heat beer and butter until butter is melted. Remove from the heat; whisk in sugar and cocoa until blended. Combine the eggs, sour cream and vanilla; whisk into beer mixture. Combine flour and baking soda; whisk into beer mixture until smooth. Pour batter into prepared pan.

Bake at 350° for 45-50 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Cool completely in pan on a wire rack. Remove sides of pan.

In a large bowl, beat cream cheese until fluffy. Add confectioners’ sugar and cream; beat until smooth (do not over-beat). Remove cake from the pan and place on a platter or cake stand. Ice top of cake so that it resembles a frothy pint of beer. This creates a TON and I do not use it all. You can refrigerate leftovers.

I agree with Charles Caleb Cotton.

I often find myself in awe of how creative, interesting, polished, sassy, well read, smartly dressed, well accessorized and worldly the wonderful people in my life are. I catch myself saying “oh tell me about this?” or “where did you find that?” In fact that is what has inspired me to finally blog.

I know that these days we have such sites such as Pinterest (totally my idea btw- that thunder stealer!) to collect new ideas and share them. However, for me that sometimes is just too much. I wanted a select place where I could find my friend Laura’s infamously addicting chocolate peanut butter cookie recipe. A place where Megan keeps me current with the newest purse rage or Angela can post something noteworthy about pop culture or politics. I wanted a collective blog tailored towards me and MY friends. Why? Because my friends have FANTASTIC ideas.

That is what this is all about. It is a place where we as a group of friends can showcase what it is that we bring to the table. I, for one, promise to bring my obsession with holidays, entertaining, themed events, books, baking, weird news, commas and Tina Fey.

Yes, I believe that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. I hope to flatter you all. Welcome friends, post away. ;)