So, as Ali noted, we've kind of been sucking at this group blog thing. I, for one, have let my personal blog go by the wayside as well as I've just been swamped with, well, LIFE! However, I love the idea of this blog and am determined to make it succeed! I want to start off my contribution to the blog with a response/offshoot to Ali's first post about weight. It makes me think of a theme that I've noticed in so many women our age (and those younger), that is disturbing to me. It seems that so many women just cannot be CONTENT! I do not get it at all.
Don't get me wrong, when I was in college, I know I struggled mightily with feelings of inadequacy. It seemed that all around me, there were people just generally better than I - prettier, funnier, more athletic, smarter, holier, more fun, a better friend. However, those who know me can attest that I'm pretty, funny, athletic, smart, fun and a great friend (we'll just skip the holy one for now...). So what was the issue? Well, looking back, to be honest I think it was just a phase and/or a maturity issue. After college, I suffered a lot of defeat - in work, in educational endeavors, in relationships - but I also have had more than my fair share of successes. I needed those failures and successes to strengthen me. But I also needed time and maturity to learn to stop comparing myself to other people. If I can honestly say that I live up to my high expectations for myself, why should it matter what other people are doing? It doesn't. I acknowledge that every day is not going to be the best day of your life. For example, it's hot as holy hell here, and I often dread getting dressed to go out because I know I am just going to look like a hot, sweaty fool moments after exiting the condo. But - I try not to let things like this affect my overall demeanor and outlook on life, because I am overwhelmingly blessed by everything I have going in life. (Those who have known me a long time I think can appreciate the road of changes that have occurred to get me to this point).
However, as I noted at the beginning of the post, I talk to/observe so many women who are not this way. They complain, malinger, malign, self-defeat, and are generally NOT CONTENT with themselves. Granted, I live in a mini-LA, so superficiality and competitiveness are higher than many other locations, but I do not feel this is restricted to Dallas. Why are so many women our age so lacking in contentment? And how do they not realize that their discontent is not only unattractive, but is likely to get them nowhere to their stated goals?
Like Ali said - she would love to save future generations of women a colossal waste of time being unhappy about their looks. I think the answer to this question is how we save that time, not only in unhappiness about looks, but just general unhappiness. If we can help future generations of adult females toward contentment, they will stop wasting their emotions and energy fretting about how they compare to others, and focus that energy on figuring out their goals and working toward achieving those goals. Pushing yourself to YOUR best (and having people around you who support you in that) is how you find that contentment. And in that vein, cutting negative people out of your life is also a helpful tool to ridding yourself of any encouragement to compare yourself or linger on feelings of discontent. Happy goal setting ladies - and I hope we can all include group sharing on the blog as part of our goals!
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